We live in a world of pressure, deadlines, and overwhelming to do lists. Naturally, this way of being has a tendency to flow over into our romantic relationships. But, what happens when it does?
Truthfully, it doesn’t always go very well.
A few things to consider:
Is this something my partner actually has control or influence over?
If not, that’s a good indicator that putting time pressure on your partner is an attempt to cope with your own feelings of hopelessness or helplessness in a given situation. If there’s nothing they can do to make it go differently, there’s nothing they can do.
Am I imposing a deadline to reduce my own anxiety or discomfort with the unknown?
Before moving forward with creating a deadline for your partner, check in with yourself. What is my emotional state right now? How am I feeling about this situation? If you’re feeling negative, overwhelmed, stressed, upset, anxious, out of control, or another highly uncomfortable emotion, it’s likely you’re desire to put time pressure on your partner is an attempt at coping.
The most constructive way to connect with your partner in these situations is to share your feelings. Let them know how worried, stressed, or uncomfortable you are with the unknown timeline. Seek emotional support and see how you can team up to manage this distressing time together.
To learn more about to handle time pressure in a relationship preserving way, be sure to listen to this week’s episode.
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