When you’ve been together for awhile, you get really good at figuring out why your partner does what they do.

Or, do you?

The accuracy of those assumptions (yes, they are assumptions) really depends on what information you’re using.

Are you basing your guess on the guess you made the last time this behavior happened?

Did you have an ex who used to do this behavior all the time because they were uncomfortable with emotional intimacy?

In your family growing up, was there an unspoken rule that the loudest person wins the fight? So, you know when you’re partner gets loud they are making a power play to win?

As humans, we try our best to make meaning of the world around us. We place that meaning on the people we relate to and experiences we have. Our brain stores that information for future reference and the next time a similar situation arises it quickly informs you of the reason behind it. This ability has helped us survive for a long time, but in relationships we risk functioning with inaccurate information.

Without asking your partner, there’s really no way to know their intentions for sure. In fact, their intentions may change from day to day, situation to situation. So, what do you do?

In this week’s episode, we’re talking about the dangers of being unequivocally sure of your partner’s intentions, how to identify this habit, and what to do instead.